Tags: M, me

Tags: M, A, J, me

Tags: M, A, me

We were fortunate enough to hear about a free jazz concert specifically targeted towards young children, with the intention of introducing traditional jazz music and instruments to the kids. It was kind of a blur for me, since I was still on my critical care month and had no sense of time or day for the most part. Most weekend days I was off (and I typically only had one day off per week), we hung out at home or went to the local park, just so I could take it easy. But this event was local and while I was still in somewhat of a daze from being monumentally sleep-deprived, I do remember enjoying this event quite a bit.

Sitting there with A in my lap, watching him clap to the music and seeing M completely mesmerized by all the musical instruments was definitely a highlight of my month. Not to mention listening to some incredibly talented jazz musicians too. The moment it started, I realized I should have called all my friends to come (sorry guys!), but because it was kind of last-minute, and I've been slow to address my email and keep up with staying in touch with everyone, the opportunity came and went all too quickly. I'll be sure to send out a short note the next time I hear about something like this.

Tags: A, M, me

I really enjoyed my general surgery and ob/gyn rotations, as well as my pediatrics rotation. In fact, for the most part (and with the exception of internal medicine), I pretty much liked all of my rotations. Read more

Tags: school, me

So, to the meat of the matter, and the whole reason why I started this post. How did I end up choosing? Well, I thought about each rotation I had done and eliminated ones that I either didn’t like, or didn’t like enough to make my top five list. Read more

Tags: school, me

All work and no play makes graduation a dull day.

Tags: M, me, school

I decided to join his lab and worked part-time in his lab over the next year and a half or so (while I was a full time preclinical student) on a project that involved microarrays and immunohistochemistry. Read more

Tags: school, me

We finally got around to downloading photos off the camera and here's one from graduation a little while ago. It was a long day for everyone, especially the kids. But it's official now. My preschooler called me Dr. Mommy the other day. I don't think I'll ever get used to being called Dr. anything.

Intern year has actually started (orientation at least) and I am on call my very first day and whole first weekend. This is a q4 month, which kind of stinks, so we'll see if I can keep these posts up.

Tags: grandparents, J, A, M, me, school

Tags: M, A, me

I don't know if anyone else does this (or if we are a totally bizarre family), but sometimes we pretend to eat the children and vice versa.

In contrast to yesterday's peaceful family photo, here is a sequence of us goofing around.

Tags: J, A, M, me

Tags: J, A, M, me

I emailed the Chair of the Department of Surgery. In my email, I wrote about how I was trying to decide what field to go into and that I might be interested in surgery or a surgical field. Fortunately, he was very enthusiastic about medical students who were interested in surgery and agreed to meet with me to discuss options. Read more

Tags: school, me

Tags: A, M, me

Tags: A, M, me

I thought this month would be rather leisurely. I could take it easy, read some fiction, lounge around reading and listening to my Spanish language CDs. And, of course, finish my research projects. I can't recall the last time I was ever able to just sit back and relax without worrying about the million things we had to do. Hawaii was nice in that we couldn't do any work while we were there, but it was definitely hard work to vacation with the kids.

Is it at all what I thought it would be? Nope. It's going to be a mad dash to the finish line. My husband, who is finishing his fellowship, has been burning the midnight oil every night for the last 5 weeks, and has got three more to go. My orientation for residency starts really soon, and we got a lot of paperwork, busywork, and reading to do beforehand, which I think is kind of a bummer. I mean, can't they just wait until we start? And I'm still trying to work out the whole kindergarten and school district stuff.

It'll be really nice to just start residency, since we could really use the financial support. My brother lamented to me the other day about how he and his wife have to live on one income while she's in business school. I pointed out to him that not only does he make twice as much as my husband does as a fellow, but they don't have children yet and don't live in one of the most expensive cities in the country. We've been living with this modest salary for several years. She'll be done in two. He gets some sympathy, but not much.

In any case, I hope I'll still be able to post and update. I've got more about what field I've picked, as well as some thoughts about my ob/gyn rotation (which I really enjoyed). Hopefully, this chaos will all settle down soon and we can go right back to a nice comfy routine. While I am a resident. Riiiight.

Tags: school, me

Not long ago, I was chatting with a good friend of mine (who is going to be a co-resident with me - hooray!) and we were discussing how these last few weeks are very weird. I commented that I felt like I was going off to war or into hiding or something, and she agreed, saying it was like she was dying. I mean, I am basically trying to squeeze into the next few weeks everything I think I can do before starting residency. Everything I have put off during medical school and when the kids were born - going to the dentist, drycleaning, getting the kitchen knives sharpened (that was a task I've been wanting to do for years), stocking up on food and supplies, and much more. My friend agreed, saying she's been makings lists for others to remember to do when she's not around.

I really hope that we'll be able to retain some semblance of a normal life, since I am pretty much depending on it. There certainly will be our fair share of hospital cafeteria family dinners (or if I can prepare beforehand, picnic dinners on the grass just outside the hospital), but I definitely do want to see my family more than what is anecdotally believed to be the available time for a personal life. I certainly hope it's not worse than my busier rotations in medical school - those were hard to endure for even two months at a time, and I was fortunately able to squeeze in lighter months or even breaks in between.

Needless to say, I'm feeling pretty nervous.

Tags: me, school

Sorry I've been so slow to post lately. I have just been incredibly busy trying to get things squared away before starting intern year in just a few weeks. Plus, there's that small matter of graduation, which I have barely thought about and is just around the corner. Frankly, I'm not much for ceremonies, and I've got so many things going on right now that it is at the bottom of my list of things to worry about. Although I guess I should figure out the whole gown/rehearsal/schedule stuff before I forget.

To make things even more complicated (and what has really been tying up all my time) is that we are now thinking about buying a home. Despite all the media about home prices plummeting, it's a fantastic time for us to consider buying. Around here, homes usually get dozens of bids (and most get more than asking price) but now, there are fewer bidders for the same number of homes, so we have a chance at a reasonable price. And interestingly, home prices have not decreased in this part of California (they just haven't been increasing as much as they usually do). Prices around here are crazy, really crazy. Imagine "crazy" and then at least double that price, maybe triple that price. That's how much you'd pay for an old, dinky house around here. We can't afford a detached, single-family house (and if we don't get in the market soon, we may never be able to), so we are looking at townhomes and condominiums. Is it worth living here? Who knows, but we're at least stuck here for a few more years and it's not smart for us to keep throwing away money into renting (especially if we can try to buy), not to mention take advantage of the tax shelter we'd be getting.

With my older son starting kindergarten next year (we think), we're trying to figure out which school district we'd like to live in so we won't have to move too much and he can make longtime friends. The problem is that the school systems are very complex (not to mention oversubscribed and underfunded) and for the first time, we are actually considering private school as an option (which is totally not something we ever thought we'd do). But I can totally see why people send their kids to private school now. And I'll write more later about all this. I've literally gone from zero to at least 80% in terms of researching homes, schools, and the tax code in the last week. My brains hurts from all the number crunching and decision-making, but I think it'll be worth it. It might be a whirlwind in the next few months, but nothing we're not used to by now. Thank goodness I have these few weeks to work this out.

So between trying to make decisions about schools and whether or not to purchase (we've never owned a property before), there's that other little matter regarding financing. Apparently it is quite difficult to get a loan nowadays (there are unique loans for physicians that we are looking into, but they of course have higher rates), and of course we don't have much equity or fluid assets at the moment. But at least we can probably qualify for a physician loan. Otherwise, how do you tell a bank Um, we don't have much for a down, and we don't have any assets - in fact, we have hundreds of thousands of dollars of school loans, but please loan us several hundreds of thousands of dollars. With this physician loan (low/no down, no PMI, up to $1 million), we will have massive monthly payments for the first little while, but once we build up some equity, we can refinance and bring that down. And if we sit tight and don't move for a few years (which I'd love - student life has resulted in five moves in the last five years, four with at least one child), we'll have a nice springboard to purchase the next home (which would otherwise be impossible).

It's all very crazy right now, and it's going to be even crazier once I start (I'll be sure to post about moving in the middle of my intern year). Nothing has been set in stone yet, but I am chin deep in the middle of the chaos right now and will be sure to update once it's a bit less crazy.

Tags: me, website

If you missed the previous sections, you can read the whole thing here.

Figuring I just needed to dive in and try something, I decided to take a stab (no pun intended) at the world of surgery. As a pre-clinical medical student, I never really heard many positive things about surgery – the field is widely portrayed in a very negative way. Read more

Tags: school, me

Tags: A, M, me

My husband is on a difficult rotation (pretty much until the end of his fellowship) and is on call the whole weekend so we're both exhausted. Posts will mainly be recent photos for the next few days.

Tags: M, A, me

Tags: M, A, me

Here's the next section I wrote about how I ended up choosing my medical specialty (I'll get to the end soon):

As part of my neuroendocrine research, I learned how to do some stereotactic microsurgery (brain and vascular), which I loved. It was very calming to spend a whole afternoon performing these surgeries, and I really enjoyed trying to come up with ways to improve the procedures and help with recovery of my tiny rodent patients. Read more

Tags: school, me

Happy Mother's Day!

Tags: M, A, me, photography, holiday

Ever since we got back from Hawaii, I've been trying to get everything back in order. The kids are just now starting to get back to their usual schedule (though my little guy is having some trouble sleeping on his own still). I was pretty wiped out last night after dinner, and fell asleep sometime around 9:30pm. I got up early since I have a research project deadline today and I still have some work to do on it. I've also got a million errands to run. I had written most of the Waikiki Aquarium post already and just needed to add the photos, which only takes a couple of minutes (plus I like looking at photos of the kids). Have a good day everyone!

Tags: me, school

Mommies saying goodbye in the morning.

Tags: M, me, daycare

I started as a math major in college, but switched to neurobiology and behavior in my junior year when I started feeling like I wanted to study something a little more broad, particularly in development and biology. Read more

Tags: school, me

Several days ago, I posted about how I'm annoyed by bicyclists who don't follow traffic rules. It's just as annoying to be in the company of reckless or inconsiderate drivers as well, who probably contribute to the negative attitude exhibited by some bicyclists. I'm particularly disturbed that I see some of the most reckless drivers head towards the hospital employee lot. And our street has a 25 mph residential limit, but I often see and hear cars whizzing by at nearly twice that speed.

Tags: me, safety

Well, we survived! And of course, I think we all had a good time (especially the kids). We just dropped off the boys at daycare and picked up my laptop, and I am now going to attack the mess that used to be the living room floor (luggage, laundry, mail, toys) and I think my husband is going to take a much-needed nap.

We deleted the blurry/bad photos off the camera, and have over 400 remaining to download. Of those, I think maybe a hundred or so are some real winners, some of which I will try to format and post over the next few days.

Here are a few that I emailed my mom today. I'll be back soon to post more about our trip. For those of you who were curious, it was helpful to have the carseat (for my little guy) on the plane, and no, it does not fit through the xray machine at the airport (we have the Britax Decathlon). They have to check it manually.

Tags: travel, A, M, J, me

Well, we're leaving pretty soon for our vacation and boy, do I have tons to do before we go. This will be my last post until next week (probably Wednesday), since I won't have my computer, nor do we plan to have internet access. Actually, we're not leaving quite yet, but I am taking my computer in this afternoon for some trackpad button maintenance (it clicks funny). I've already got ideas for posts swirling around in my head, including the continuation of the process of choosing a specialty, some really cute kids' travel stuff that I can write about after our trip, as well as photos from our vacation.

I can't remember if I ever said where we are going. We're off to Hawaii for a few days, which should be fun. Airfare was not too bad (~$270 per ticket) and my husband really wanted to do something fun to celebrate my finishing medical school. I hope we survive the plane rides without too much drama, and that the boys get over the jet lag quickly and only wake up at 3am for one or two nights. Oh boy is this going to be fun. We'll certainly be taking lots of photos and I'll be sure to post as soon as I can once we get back (don't worry mom. And yes, we'll be careful).

Have a wonderful week everyone!

Tags: M, me, A, travel

I’ve been meaning to write some more about how I chose my field in medicine, and what residency I’ll be starting in June, but I’ve been a little hesitant to start, since it’s a long story and I don’t think I’ve got enough time or patience to sit down and spend hours and hours writing about it. To solve that problem, I’ve decided to just start writing from the beginning and will continue in installments if I don’t get to finish in one post. Read more

Tags: me, school

The other day, I bought a 99-cent preschooler writing tablet when I was picking up some office supplies, thinking we could use it when he started kindergarten or first grade or whenever it is that kids learn to write these days. My son saw it and wanted to "write" in it with his orange crayon. First, he drew a couple of circles, and then I asked him if he wanted to write letters with me (we haven't really tried, but I thought he might enjoy it). He said that he wanted to write them, and I said okay, thinking he would just doodle.

He looked at the page and paused for a few seconds and then asked Mommy? How do you write the letter 'C?' I gestured with my finger and said it was kind of a curvy letter. And then I offered to help him, but he sort of attempted a generally recognizable letter 'C' on his own. I said Great job! What do you want me to show you next? And then I looked down at the page, and he had written some additional letters, a rudimentary 'A' and then a 'T,' to spell out 'CAT.' Dumbfounded, I turned to my husband and asked Have you been teaching him how to write letters? and he shook his head no (I hadn't either). I laughed and asked How come you asked me how to write the letter 'C?' The letters 'A' and 'T' are harder to write! Did you learn that at school? He giggled and then went on to draw some squiggles and lines. I then showed him how to write the letter 'M' because it was like drawing mountains, and he proceeded to fill the page with those.

It turns out that on one of the tables at preschool, there is a laminated placemat with all the letters of the alphabet, and he loves to trace his fingers along the letters (thus learning how to write them in the process I guess). He already knew his letters (thanks in part to the Letter Factory DVD) but I had no idea he could write some of them too. Nor did I know he could spell the word 'cat.' I realize he probably knows it from memory somehow, but it did catch me off guard and we had a good chuckle over it.

Tags: M, me

Tags: M, me

Blogging is often a place where people vent (I know I have). I've started a page where I'll list my pet peeves, if only to have them written down somewhere (I was recently asked to list some for an intern survey and couldn't think of any off the top of my head, even though I know I have tons). Here's the first:

When bicyclists don't follow traffic rules
We bike, but are not daily riders anymore now that we have two kids and live a bit farther from the hospital. I like to support people who bike by giving them plenty of space on the road and making sure I look out for them when I need to make a right turn. But more often than not, I see cyclists who not only disobey basic rules, but go as far as making really deliberate and blatantly dangerous decisions. Knowing that a driver would prefer to avoid a collision gives some people the gall to ride where- and whenever they want to, even if it means running a stoplight or stop sign. It really messes up the traffic dynamic for drivers who actually follow the rules. I've heard people say that cars don't look out for bikes and that you have to be aggressive, but that only perpetuates the problem. Let's all try to be better at sharing the road.

I rarely see a cyclist stop at a stop sign, which really annoys me, because if it's a four-way stop, and there are cars waiting their turns, a bicyclist who doesn't stop really messes up the dynamic. Frankly, I think it's selfish and those riders are giving the other cyclists a bad rap. I literally see cocky bicyclists halt four-way traffic at major intersections because they ride right into them. Of course, many drivers honk, but there's really not much that can be done (unless the police are around). And it's only a matter of time before a tragedy happens.

If you are on the street, you follow traffic rules. If you are on the sidewalk, you follow pedestrian rules. And while I'm not your mother, wear a helmet please!

Tags: me

Who needs television when you've got built-in home entertainment?

Tags: me, M, A

I am about to go to bed, but I just spent the last hour or so going through the USMLE Step 2 CS website, reading (for the first time) the details about how the exam is going to be given. I probably should have looked at this stuff sooner, but I figured it was going to be the same as the ones we have at school (it pretty much is).

In any case, I am also printing out documents needed for my short trip (scheduling permit, maps, etc.) and just in case, I emailed them to myself. I'd hate to find myself without them the morning of the exam and have no way of getting them again. My email client refreshed and the "new email" notice showed up and I thought to myself Hmm, I wonder who the heck could be emailing me at this hour? It was my own email - duh! I'm such a dork. Anyhow, that probably a good sign that I should go to sleep!

Tags: me, school

Tags: A, me, daycare

I am taking USMLE Step 2 CS next week, which is a full-day clinical exam, where medical students see 12 (I think) standardized patients with a variety of problems and have to take appropriate histories, do focused physical exams, and then write up a note with a plan. We only get 15 minutes to see each patient, and 10 minutes to write (or type) a note. Most physicians get more than 15 minutes to see a new patient, so it's a bit of a time crunch. Also, it's kind of stressful because you know you have to ask certain questions to get credit for the test, and perform certain parts of the physical exam as well. And then the standardized patient also scores your professionalism and demeanor, as well as ability to communicate.

Most students pass the exam, and there has been a lot of talk about how unnecessary this $1000 exam is, if nearly everyone passes it. Some people say it's mostly aimed at the international medical graduates (they have lower passing rates), others say it's just a money-maker. Whatever the reason, it's expensive (it's only offered in certain cities, so most of us have to buy plane tickets, rent a car, and stay at a hotel) and stressful (at least for me - I have a lot of test anxiety).

Now that my critical care month is over, I am supposed to be studying for this exam. However, I've mostly spent the beginning of this week catching up on everything that I put off during last month. And I've got a ton of things to do regarding residency (as well as planning our lives during that busy time). We've got lots of surveys to fill out, schedules to pick - it all seems to be happening so fast! It seems like Match Day wasn't that long ago. I think it's because I haven't really had a chance to relax or reflect over the last few weeks. Between the intense rotation, Match Day, and the funeral I went to, I just haven't had a chance to sit and think or absorb any of the events that have happened.

In any case, I am trying to send in my schedule preferences (it's hard to plan through June of 2009, when no one else has their schedule planned that far in advance). And I have to resist the urge to sort and organize things, so I can sit down and study for this exam. It's been a little while since I've performed all the components of a complete physical exam. I suppose I can deal with the rest after next week, even though I've got tons planned already (research to finish, books to sell, even some much-delayed unpacking). Whew!

Despite the fact that most people pass, I am still pretty nervous about this exam. It is an unrealistic environment. No matter what anyone says, to me it is quite different having a standardized patient vs. a real one. It's hard not to obsess about the points you need to hit or what you might be forgetting when you are with a standardized patient (as well as worrying about whether your hands are cold, if you washed your hands, or if you appropriately draped the patient). I know many excellent students who have made uncharacteristic blunders during similar exams we have here at school. One time, a friend of mine sent a patient home who may have had an ectopic pregnancy (it was the first exam, and she was pretty nervous). Another friend of mine performed a full neurologic exam on someone who came in with respiratory symptoms. I hope my brain can function adequately because I know I'll be nervous and so pretty much all the planning will go out the window and I'll be on auto-pilot (I just hope that auto-pilot is ready!). I guess I better go study!

Tags: me, school

A regular weekend activity. Now I actually look forward to getting pennies back in change.

Tags: me, A, M

Tags: M, me

My 1.5 year-old climbed the structure ladders at the park last week with only a little bit of help from me. I can't believe how fast time is flying by. It makes me a bit nervous about how I am going to manage residency and still be able to be there for the boys, but they're obviously my highest priority, so I will have to make it work. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know!

Tags: A, me

Well, it's official - I matched at my first choice residency program. Matthew helped me open the envelope, which took what seemed like 5 minutes (especially after he dropped it)! I'll be at a great academic center in California.

More details about what I applied into to come very soon, I promise!

Tags: school, me, M

We tried to ride to the local fire station over the weekend, but there was a ton of sidewalk construction, so we ended up having to take a lot of alternate routes, including riding through this (empty) parking lot. We were only able to see the fire station from across the street, since with all the construction, there wasn't a safe way to get to the other side. We'll try a different fire station next time.

Tags: me, A, M

Interesting, at least in my opinion. Post-call, I had a fat email inbox waiting for me at home, and one of them was a link to the NBME site, where I found out that I passed Step 2 CK. Thank goodness! I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to taking big exams, and this was one of those where you don't walk out of it feeling like you knew for sure if you passed or not. Eight one-hour blocks, with 45 minutes to use as break time between blocks or as a larger lunch break. So if you took 5 minutes between each section, you would have almost used up all your break time (and the clock starts ticking as soon as you finish each section). It was pretty tiring, and by the end of the exam, I was pretty much just clicking answer choices to get them over with (my reading speed had also slowed by the end of the day, so I was more pressed for time in the later blocks). In any case, I am really glad to have that over with. I still have Step 2 CS (the day-long practical exam). And I think Step 3 (during intern year) is taken over two days! With all the test anxiety I get, you'd think I would have picked a profession where you aren't taking major exams every couple of years!

Tags: me

Food goes in here.

Tags: M, me

This photo was taken way back in January, but I dug it up because I think it's cute. Someone should have told me it was funny hat day.

Tags: me, A, M